Event Horizon
We are blessed to be living in a wonderous time. We are, I am convinced, privileged to witness the event horizon of human stupidity, the point at which the citizens of America have no further to fall, no IQ points left to drop, the fabled absolute dumbass.
Witness:
1) The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers attempts to rebuild the disastrous New Orleans levee system by stuffing floodwalls with newspaper. Think about that for a minute. The USACOE studied the 2005 levee breach and admitted they they screwed up: the levees were not properly built and it was their responsibility. They would fix them! This time for sure!
And they stuffed them with newspaper.
At first, they blamed a contractor. The contractor blamed Washington for insufficient funding, implying that they would stuff the levees with something more appropriate, like marshmallows or jello or marshmallows WITH jello if the feds ponied up for the Cat 5 option package. Then the USACOE said, well, actually, it was us. They snuck in after dark and stuffed the newspaper in there so their wives wouldn’t stumble on that personal ad they placed. The wind was rattling the floodwalls and waking up the baby. I don’t know why the fuck they did it, or why their hired labor did it, or why they were allowed to do it under USACOE supervision. I have considered a great number of options and have come to the conclusion that a significant number of the people involved in this debacle must be profoundly stupid. There is no other logical explanation.
2) The Lousiana house killed an anti-bullying bill mere weeks before approving a measure allowing concealed weapons to be carried on college campuses. Quit your whining and return fire, you little faggots!
3) Fart, Barf & Itch Special Agent in Charge Jim Bernazzani was called back to Washington after he publically flirted with running for mayor of New Orleans. Bernazzani made some huffing noises and puffed out his chest and said well maybe I’ll go back and maybe I won’t and you can’t make me. He had this calling, see. The city needed him. All these important personages were urging him on. He resigned from the FBI to pursue his dream.
Trouble is, he hasn’t lived in the city long enough to legally run for mayor in the next election. Whoops.
4) And then there’s HB 1168, yet another attempt, this time fronted by Ben Nevers, D-Bogalusa, to adulterate the teaching of science in our broken and hobbled schools by introducing a competing curriculum of magic and superstition.
The newspaper stuffed-levees story brought me to the conclusion that we are living in a late-cretaceuous period for dumbasses: there are some magnificent specimens out there, grand and terrifying, but they have reached the limit of their environment and will soon collapse under their own brainless weight.
But it was HB 1168 that brought me to an epiphany.
These constant pestering intrusions of “intelligent” design and creationism into secular education have nothing to do with religion, or values. They are expressions of contempt for education, contempt for humanism and the enlightenment ideal of a society based on rationality and reason.
They are a sneering taunt: if your science is The Truth, then how is it that it can be called into question disbelieved and derailed so easily?
They are demonstrations of the reach of the stupidgensia, an object lesson that the right-wing christians and “family values” snake oil salesmen like Tony Perkins and Randall Terry can infect and derange the world outside their multi-million dollar megachurches, empires built and maintained by exaltations of stooges gorked enough to believe that the power of god can be transmitted through a TV screen. The gutting of public programs, misuse of our armed forces and callous treatment of veterans are more expressions of disdain by a consortium of neocons, wingnuts and reactionaries who actively despise the American public. They don’t even bother to hide the lies any more; every utterance from the mouths of this elite corps of impudent waterheads boggles the mind with open and enveloping hebetude.
But. The lies and excuses and plain dumb blurts have become unsupportable. Finally, FINALLY, after beginning our long slow slide into imbecility around 1980 (coughReagancough), the fog is beginning to lift and people are beginning to realize that most of what has passed as our national-state-local discourse and policy over those long 28 years was, in fact, pure uncut dumb.
They put newspaper in the levees. Newspaper! Five years ago, maybe even three years ago, no one would have noticed anything was wrong, or cared. People like Donald Rumsfeld, Doug Feith and Paul Wolfowitz were put in charge of our national defense and left there. They might till be there, sticking their dicks in light sockets and eating bird poop just to see what it tasted like, but something sapped somewhere, someone missed a dose of Dumbitol, and now they’re gone. 
Bobby Jindal’s Open and Transparent Good Government campaign suckered enough people in to win him the Governorship — to be fair, he was, by an order of magnitude, the smartest candidate and the only reasonable choice — but it wore off awfully fast and people called him on it. That’s remarkable in this state.
One can only be treated with contempt for so long. It’s bullying, and we have been bullied by stupid people and have smiled and let them do it for a generation. But it’s changing; I’d go so far as to say it’s mostly over. The Dumb is getting noticed and challenged, not by all, but by enough to further the change. We are little furry mammals darting around the feet of the dying Dunderlizards. It can be our world, if …
if we don’t get stupid.
Beer fund 3 commentsThe brilliance spreads
Three black lawmakers consider break with Democratic Party | theadvertiser.com | The Advertiser Yes, you’ll be treated so much better in the republican party. They’re caring over there.
Well, Lydia Jackson is chafing at new ethics laws but still wants to switch to the Party of Jindal. Michael Jackson is surrounded by idiots who seem to have convinced him that he is a Machiavellian master plotter when he’s really just jerking off, Don Cravins Jr is already a republican — independent my ass — and might as well go away.
As far as I can see, these three are making an evolutionary choice regarding their ability to survive in a changed environment.
Beer fund No commentsGO TIME
Consider me relieved. Now, can we get to the very serious business of dismantling the GOP? I have a very serious axe to grind, and it is deeply, deeply personal for me. There are a bunch of frauds, crooks, and phonies with whom I have a serious grudge that I want to settle. You see, I still have my “Peace Through Strength” button from when I campaigned for Reagan. I believed in limited government, I believed in a strong national defense, I believed in fiscal restraint and balanced budgets and I believed in personal integrity and individual liberty and personal freedom.Beer fund No commentsI am pissed. I want the frothing nutters, the fraudulent hucksters, the race-baiters, the anti-science frauds, the anti-intellectuals, the gay-bashers, the big-money cheats, the torture fetishists, the religious nuts, the tax and spenders, the xenophobes, and the phonies to pay. I want payback. I want the people who ruined my former party relegated to permanent minority status.
MOLDY CITY: Getting their money’s worth
Bayoustjohndavid on our old pal Jay Blossman and hisBFFs at Entergy.
More here. My god, he’s stupid.
Beer fund No commentsRenard Poche’s new album
I know Renard Poche mostly as the boyfriend of Lisa P., and I knew he as a talented musician, but god damn: the man has played with the Meters, Prof. Longhair, Dr. John …
He’s just released his first album, currently as a digital download and later as a CD. Sample and buy and not only get some hot New Orleans funk, but be on the cutting edge of independent music marketing as well.
The Independent - Louisiana Sen.John Smith explains sex toys
“Sexual device means any three-dimensional object designed and marketed for stimulation of the male or female genitals, anus, female breast, or for sadomasochistic use or abuse of oneself or others and shall include devices such as dildos, vibrators, penis pumps, and physical representations of the human genital organs.”
Human genital organs? … so these could sneak by under the radar? I can sell’em outside the junior high?
Beer fund No commentsOh, shut up
Also on Monday, Laura Bush said,
“Although they were aware of the threat, Burma’s state-run media failed to issue a timely warning to citizens in the storm’s path.”“It’s troubling that many of the Burmese people learned of this impending disaster only when foreign outlets, such as Radio Free Asia and Voice of America, sounded the alarm,” she said.
Asked by a reporter whether she was accusing the junta of having “blood on their hands,” she said it was clear they are “very inept.”
Image via Intoxination.
Fuck the Neville Brothers
After a mere two and a half years, they drag their pompous asses back to New Orleans to play a single gig and the media are all WHOO THE NEVILLES ARE BACK! Yeah, until the plane leaves. They can all bite my ass, except for Cyril, who can bite it twice.
Beer fund 11 commentsFlorida attempts to out-stupid Louisiana
Land O’ Lakes Florida school district fires teacher for “wizardry”. He performed a magic trick in class, you see, and the superstitious locals took to hooting and gibbering in frightened squeaks.
An impressive effort, Florida, but we’ll outstupid you before too long. You don’t fuck with the eagles unless you know how to fly.
Beer fund No commentsIt used to be illegal in America for blacks and whites to marry
Until Mildred Loving knocked it all over, all at once. She died last week, at age 68.
Beer fund No commentsThat’s using the old thinker
The Independent - Cravins Jr. weighs party switch, Congressional run:
. The 35-year-old state Sen. says he has considered switching his party affiliation for some time now because of his more conservative pro-life, pro-gun views. Cravins says conservative Democrats have the issue of getting labeled with a more liberal national party, especially in a Congressional race. “When you’re a Democratic candidate for Congress during a presidential election,” Cravins adds, “you get the baggage of the national party.”
Yes, especially now, with a rockstar black democratic Presidential candidate, a groundswell of new, young, grass-roots activist voters who trend left, and a strong nationwide rejection of the last seven years of conservative mismanagement and malfeasance, now is definitely the time to position yourself as a right-leaning republican.
And besides, party switches in Louisiana always work out so well for all the top flight names who have taken the plunge: John Kennedy, Ray Nagin, Woody Jenkins, Rodney Alexander, Mike Foster, David Duke …
Beer fund 2 commentsAsshole
Memphis Principal Accused of “Outing” Gay Students:
The ACLU says in September 2007, Beasley asked her staff to give her the names of students who were couples, heterosexual and homosexual, because she wanted to keep an eye on them to cut down on public displays of affection.She’s accused of publicly posting the names of those students, including two boys, Andrew and Nicholas, who had just started dating. The ACLU says that in doing so, Beasley revealed their relationship to other students, teachers and even their parents.
Principal Daphne Beasley
BeasleyD@mcsk12.net
The Board of Commisioners:
hartt@mcsk12.net
jonesmartaviusd@mcsk12.net
williamsf@mcsk12.net
whalumkennetht@mcsk12.net
gatewoods@mcsk12.net
MallottBettyJ@mcsk12.net
robinsonp@mcsk12.net
warrenj@mcsk12.net
webbsharona@mcsk12.net
Superintendent:
superintendentward@mcsk12.net
Five years ago, it was us.
Beer fund No commentsGoogle, YouTube to bring presidential forum to N.O.
The announcement, made today on Google’s Web site, did not reveal whether any of the candidates — presumptive Republican nominee Sen. John McCain of Arizona, or Democratic candidates Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois or Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York — have agreed to participate.
And I’m planning a sleepover for Hilary Swank!
Beer fund No comments
